Good riddance, 2011.

2011 was like 3 years for me. So you can say I feel a lot older than last year.

Basically, every 4 months felt like a year.

I left Cons in April. So, I'm now an ExCon, a term we coined for everyone who has left the company. Why I leave, I saw no point in staying. I wasn't ecstatic about what I did the past year. To hang on so long, to me, is quite an achievement. After a few months, I learnt my CD left too. And so did my copywriters and an Art Director. I hope they have moved on to better things :)

Oh, before leaving, I did join OCBC Cycle and it was a horrifying experience: many riders fell, esp the pros, I'm just glad neither me nor my friends were one of them. It was a lot more easier to pace yourself though as wheezing by is a lot quieter than running by. I also clocked 7 mins ahead of my goal or 1h 53mins. But, never again, unless it's free :P Anybody wants to buy a second-hand helmet?

During the next 4 months, I took a very long break. I took up a Lay Counselling Programme with Touch Community Services. It takes place once a week and kept me on my toes. My family conducted a huge purge for my Aunt, the one who helped raised me, followed by a mini-renovation: repainting the kitchen, hall, bathroom and her bedroom. Dad got the most credit for taking down the old cabinets, the very ones he built in the 1970s. Mum also got my Aunt some new shelves among other things. To this day, she is very grateful and deserves everything we had done for her. I also took up diving, thanks to V's spotaneity, well all of VEST really, esp Lala who tagged along for the experience and became the unofficial photographer :P Kudos to her for trying snorkelling again.

In late August, I started a new job. It's not rocket science but it was not as easy or straightforward as I thought it would be. Challenge accepted, nevertheless. Still doing the best while I still can. Pity about the writing, I thought I could do more writing.

And now reviewing my 2011 new year resolutions...

Habits

1. Stop terrorising Sayang, my watchcat. - not really :P

2. Consume less MSG. - yes.

3. Weight check: 56kg. BMI: 22.7. Delete TV shows after watching once/twice. - yes.

4. No shopping until GSS, except workout-gear. - yeah, right.

Goals

5. Pass BTT (Basic Theory Test). - didnt even go for a single test; complete failure.

6. Do all 3 passions: design, write and photography. - I did but I'm just too shy to publish them. Not fantastic in my opinion.

7. Get my own DSLR: possibly Dad's Nikon D7000. - yes, used it only a couple of times as it was just too precious lugging it around overseas.

8. Get multi-gear bicycle, like ASAP. - oh yeah and it's gorgeous!

Travel

9. Another mission trip. - the logistics didn't go according to plan, so it was scrapped.

10. Kyoto and Himeji Castle, Japan. - nope.

11. Eastern Europe with family. - nope.

12. Travel with JAWs, hopefully UK. - nope.

Bedroom

13. New Curtains. - I can't believe even this was so hard. It cost S$156 at IKEA for the fabric I want! Way ex.

14. Remove or reorganise White Shelves. Less Clutter. - I think I did. I can't remember.

15. Cut out and compile magazine covers and articles into folders. - halfway through.

2011 was not awesome. There were awesome bits, but it would have became a lot better if I was not so stubborn. I mean, I'm blogging at 1.30am.

Writing my new ones; I really have no idea. I'm checking out counselling in Changi Prison next week. I have only met two people who have went to jail, well, at least they shared a bit about it with me. But if I go through with that, it will eat up 52 days of my leave. Not exactly making me the ideal employee. It's times like these you wish you run your own business.

But in retrospective, I do find myself more vocal than ever before. I cursed in front of my parents, yes, even the F-fucking-word. I shoot back sarcastic retorts with, well, sarcastic retorts. I just received an invite to a friend's wedding and am considering not attending, cos I dun like his other half. I see this pattern and I dun like it. It's like my mind is finding ways to venture out like it didn't have an outlet for quite some time.

In short, I'm unhappy.

And I need to change myself to be happy again. To like myself. So maybe I should write my resolutions in that manner.

1. Ignore sarcastic remarks with 3-second silence.
And to not kill it with kindness, cos it might just sound even more sarcastic.
2. Diving - one trip.
Or two, if $ allows it.
3. More gigs.
I just bought tickets to Death Cab For Cutie!
4. Cook for my parents at least once a month.
Technically my culinary commitments for CNY is one :P
5. New Curtains by Good Friday.
Buying cloth and sewing by hand, if I must!
6. No new jackets.
No more new clothes till GSS, except from H&M :P A new black nylon bag, dare I wish.
7. Jog a weekday; Cycle every weekend.
Weight check: 54kg. Height: Still short.
8. One local photography trip a month.
9. Sketch once a week, and I dun mean my OCD ones.
10. New iPhone by March.
11. Meet up with JAWS once a month.
12. Meet up with Sistas whenever we can.
13. Meet up with all other swell pals at least once every 2 months, except Ms Coocoomber :(

In an exercise, I find myself spending too much effort and energy at my job, compared to the more important priorities like family and friends. Just the other day, I met up with someone as close as a sister, and found out something really sad had happened and felt extremely guilty and sorry that I wasn't really there for her as I went about my busyness. That's the greatest disease of the digital age, busyness. It had been 4 months since I had last saw her or given her the odd 15-min phonecall. That should never ever happen again, nor to any two women who are as close as sisters.

I pray that you meet your friends more often, treat your enemies with respect (they are human beings, too) and when you are in dire need of help at the worst possible time, may your heart be filled with hope as you turn to God and your prayers answered.